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How ‘smart’ is your phone?

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I bought a Smart phone the other day. This was a momentous occasion as I had been getting by with my not-so-smart Nokia for several years. So many years that the numbers and letters were worn off the key pad. I did try to find a replacement, but the girl in the shop just laughed and said “Too old, Mister!”

Actually, I would still be using the Nokia, guessing which button was what, if my wife hadn’t had her very expensive Samsung stolen. Being the caring husband that I am (I am really) I gave her some money to buy a replacement and she returned with this new Samsung, called a “Mega”.

However, she found that the Mega did not have the capabilities that the previous Samsung S4 had. It was then decided my wife would get another S4 I would pension off the Nokia and use the Mega. After all, it is a smart phone and could drag me kicking and screaming into this century.

The magician Howard Posener is a whizz with Samsung smarts, and I asked him how long it would take me to learn how to use it. His reply was hardly positive. “About five years,” said Howard.

I may not be as smart as my phone, but I embraced the new technology. After two days I could turn it on – and off! And don’t say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks!

But one Sunday morning I found I was unable to ring anyone. No messages to tell me (dumb ass) what I was doing wrong – it just didn’t ring. It also would not receive.

After checking that it was indeed turned on, I went to the shopping mall and spoke to the lovely young thing who had obviously been born with a smart phone in each hand, as she fiddled with it using the approved two thumb method (not my almost perfected single index technique), but could not make it work. She was a youngster, but unfortunately not a smartser! But she did tell me where the Samsung service center was.

At the Samsung place, a very efficient young man soon had my smart phone in pieces, swapped my SIM for another and Hallelujah the phone worked. “Phone OK, SIM problem, go see DTAC,” were his words. There another efficient and phone savvy young lady took my SIM out, put it in another phone, and it worked. “SIM OK,” she said.

Dumb ass then asked for her to put it back in my smartypants phone, and yes, you guessed it – it now worked. Yes, I love modern electronics!

Now, does anyone have a keypad for a 15 year old Nokia?

However, if you want to be smart, physically and financially, the hospital is having a Health Expo 2013 from November 1 through to December 31 with big savings on check-up packages. Worth your while enquiring.